November 5, 2008

lonely little girl again~~~

Dad left this morning...only 5 days in US with me almost 24 hours a day made us much closer than before. Contrary to what you might have thought, actually I've never been close to my Dad. When I was younger, living with him was a huge deal for me, we had fight all the time, sometimes really bad bad that I left home once. I always knew how much he loves me, and that deep inside of me I love and care about him a lot. But maybe because we're so much alike in term of personality, both of us have strong character, we couldn't stand each other. Maybe I am being unfair with him.... because he never really wanted to argue with me, it was me that was always arguing with him. I didn't like the way he tells me what to do, or I just didn't want to listen to him..... All these fights and arguing made me distant to Dad, and I know how hurt he felt sometimes! But as any parent's love, Dad's love is unconditional, no matter what I do to him, he will always love me the same way. I always knew it but I couldn't change my attitude toward him either......until a couple of days ago.
Before he came, I was telling myself that please be patient with him. He's getting old and we have less time to spend together since we don't live together any longer, so appreciate these five days and make him happy. I thought it was going to be hard....because these kind of thoughts have never been so strong as they are now...and I wasn't sure if I'm ready to change other part of me too (like treat him better, understand him more, and most importantly, BE Patient!)
Once he is with me, everything came so natural....I don't want to argue with him anymore. I look at him and I realize that he is getting old. By remembering how much he did for me, how much effort he made during the last 20 years for me and for our family, I really regret that I haven't treated him better before..... tears poor out as I'm writing this blog but I want to write it down for this moment to be remembered....
I think I've accomplished what I proposed to myself for these days and this is just a start. He took care of me for the last 27 years, from now on, I will take care of him and I hope I can do it for much more than 27 years. I love you Dad! (I could never say it in front of him. I don't know why, but among chinese families, it's not common to express our feelings to each other verbally.)

Sorry guys that I'm being too emotional today...... this is something really important for me and a big change for me too, so I want to share with you.
Now back to food....
This morning I woke up at 3am because I was afraid of oversleep (even though it never happened to me), so the next 2 hours I spent trying to sleep a little more.
Breakfast for Dad was more noodle (he didn't finish dinner and wanted to have it as breakfast). I could never have noodles at breakfast, nor burgers or pizza. But apparently Dad enjoyed it.
My oatmeal combo was
  • 1/4 dry steel cuts (made last night)
  • 1/2 large banana
  • 1/2 almond breeze
  • 1 tbsp flax meal
  • 2 tbsp wheat berries
  • 1 tbsp cottage cheese

It was a little soupy because I put too much water in it....but it was okay. And a strong cup of coffee because the lack of sleep made my head want to explode.

Heading to the airport, the traffic was terrible but that let me to have a little more chat with Dad. After a quick check it, Dad entered the security check point and we didn't say goodbye, only eye contact was enough... we knew what we wanted to say to each other.... so sweet! ^_^

Back home, my headache is getting worse but didn't want to sleep. I took Savanna to pick up her new card and came back. I wanted to have something fast to eat and go to sleep. So, I made another HUGE bowl of oatmeal (steel cuts actually!). The savory oatmeal:
  • 1/4 dry steel cuts (made already)
  • 2 cup of stir fry veggies (frozen)
  • 2 tbsp BBQ sauce
  • S+P
And I sauteed some marinated tofu in BBQ sauce that I had in fridge.
It was such a satisfying and delicious meal...... just what I needed.
Dessert was two marrocs
After office hour I had a big big pumpkin muffin bought in pic (but I'm sure I'll buy it again, it's so yummy!!!!)
I needed a good workout to finish my blue day~~~ so a 55 min spinning class after OH.
back home, Savanna was cooking...... yupi!!! Dinner was ready when I finish my shower.... look what we had
stir fry chinese greens
stir fry tofu with fish cake (I didn't have this because I was too full after that big muffin)
seaweed soup
polenta porridge (too soupy for my taste, but as I didn't need much food tonight, it's okay)

dessert was simply Fage with cinnamon, yummy as always!
and another argentinian chocolate that I'll have later ^_^ (I'm having more chocolate lately, it happens to me with cold weather)


just me said...

what great eats today!

and i'm glad things with your dad went well this last weekend. i used to be that way with my dad but since i started college and moved away we both seemed to have turned a new leaf towards each other. but kudos babe; we know they love us!!!

Zesty Cook said...

Looks like you had a great day of Food. Happy to see things are going well on your end. Take care


VeggieGirl said...

No need to apologize - this is an emotional time for you, in a good way!! Enjoy :0)

Wei Tou said...

I can see that you are really trying very hard to take car of your parents:-) that's why I feel your Daddy are so happy every day and don't have to worry about anything. the roles of you guys have been switched. U've already set up a VERY GOOD example for me:-))
don't be blue~ we'll back home in less than 6 weeks.
btw, the porridge is too soupy? I'll make it thicker next time

Anonymous said...

Aww that is so sweet about your dad. Great to hear that you guys are finally getting along and just simply enjoying being together. I'm happy that you're happy :)

Anonymous said...

that is so wonderful about your dad. i can really relate as well - i've never been close to my dad, not that we argue much but i just never really talk to him about stuff. so when occasionally (only about twice a year though!) when my mum and sis are both away and we spend a few days alone togeher, it's always so refreshing and i appreciate him so much. i think it's so great what you went through these past few days!

Erica said...

Good for you for opening up on your blog about these issues with your dad! I'm glad you had a good weekend despite your issues with him in the past! fage with cin? I bet that is a yummy combo!

alicia said...

Yes, it's sad but one day our parents will leave us and that freaks the hell out of me.

So I try to remind myself to be patient with my mum and dad. Thanks for sharing. Glad that you had a chance to realise how much you love your dad during this visit.

GroundedFitness said...

That BBQ tofu looks delicious!

Kelly Turner

Tina said...

I need to try wheatberries!

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