April 21, 2009

Day 9: I'm human, I'm not perfect!

Yesterday was a proof of that statement. I didn't work and I overdo on carbs. I don't know what happened but after working 4 hours in the morning, I decided to take my afternoon off because it was hard to focus on what I was doing and I got very anxious about (God knows what). When I have to double to check everything that I do to make sure I'm during it right, then, it's a sign that I'm not in my productive mode. So, afternoon of no work in a rainy day, what would you do? Sleep a nap, read a book, watch a movie and MUNCHES!!! I over do in carbs department.... I kept craving bread/toasts/cereals..... so I went for them. It was a more than overdo!!! But I wouldn't call it a binge, because I wanted it and I was conscious about what I was doing and the best part? I didn't feel guilty and went to bed extremely early to sleep (that's usually what carbs do to me, give me a good night sleep).
okay. some recap... note I didn't take pic of everything (I guess you guys will get bored if you see 10 pics of the same bread!)
Breakfast was normal: a VERY creamy bowl of steel cuts, only steel cuts. I changed the method of preparing it and it turned out soo creamy. Instead of soaking it overnight and cook it for shorter time, I cooked it directly with more water for longer time (an hour probably).
In the mix: 1/4 c. dry steel cuts, 1/2 c. almond milk, 2 tbsp egg white, 1/2 banana. topped with PB and blueberries.Yummy~~~
This bowl would have hold me for 6 hours for sure, but I was snacky so I had thisthis (2 serv. size of mixgranola)and this
Then Lunch Salad: greens, alfalfa sprouts, baby beets, edadame, peppers and octopus, dressing was olive and lemon juice.Delicious~~
Dessert: white fungus jellystrawberriesAnd then, the carbs craving began
first toasted muffin (plain)and then 5 slices of WW breadI had a long nap after that! Woke up, feeling more tired. Did 90 min yoga at home, felt more energized and ready for a light dinner: Kale chips and baked kabocha.a half blooded orange
And Dessert was another indulgent dairy free chocolate pudding.I would call that a over-do day if I ended up my eats there, but NO!!! My day didn't stop that. I had 5 slices more of WW bread, I finished the package!!!
oh...man.... I had a huge belly EXPANSION.
I fall into sleep as a baby! ^_^

I know many of you have experienced that and felt awful afterward, I was like that before. But I'm so glad that I don't feel guilty anymore.... what it's done, it's done. I didn't break anything, I just over do a little bit... but I am human, no one is perfect, as long as I return to my normal ME and be indulgent to myself..... everything would be fine! I think the trigger of serial binge is that you do not tolerate yourself of being not perfect, you punish yourself by making you feel even worse so you binge more. Okay, then stop this vicious cycle by forgive your first over do. (sorry if this hurts someone in the stage of ED, it's some random thoughts).

Today is Tuesday, I am proud to say that I slept 9 hours non-stop and it put me in a great mood! ^_^ Obviously, I'll adjust my eats today cutting back on carbs.

Question: Are you indulgent to yourself?

18 comments:

Alison said...

Wow...9 hours of sleep. I wish I could get that! It's great that you're so realistic about having snacky days - you realize that it's not the end of the world. That's a very healthy way to approach things.

VeggieGirl said...

Today's another day!! :-)

ttfn300 said...

you must feel great after a night's sleep!! think of that, not yesterday :)

ps- dulce de leche is a milk caramel, while nutella is a chocolate hazelnut spread

both are DELICIOUS!

A Toronto girl out West said...

We all have days like that. And that's okay! :o)

You're a brave girl to be so honest! lol

Emily said...

I think it's ok to indulge once in a while. :-) But what is white fungus jelly?!

Krista said...

I think it's great that you just went with what your body wanted and didn't worry about it! I wish I could be to that point!! One day!

Sharon said...

Great job on the sleep!
I indulge, and carbs are my friend.

lighterportions said...

Sometimes when you're craving carbs you just have to go with it! Maybe your body was trying to tell you that it needed more carbs! Nothing wrong with that and nothing wrong with indulging once in a while! I'm feeling for some carbs right about now too :)

Julie said...

hahaha welp the 9 hours of sleep definitely kicks the 5 slices in the butt! don't stress girl we all indulge :)

The Dainty Pig said...

thank you so much for you honesty and openness! your posts bring me such joy, and I love to see your unique approach to meals, with interesting ingredients like white fungus, and cuisine from Argentina. I spent a few weeks there a couple of years ago, and the food was amazing! How do you make your desserts with the white fungus? I usually just eat mine with meals (i posted a few photos on my blog), but have never tried it how you make it!

lesley said...

I think we all need a little indulgence sometimes!! : )

annie said...

wow 9 hours! that musta been really good.

am i indulgent? yes!!

Pearl said...

i've done that before, too, but i think YOU'RE the first one to teach me right now that it's OKAY! and coco, i feel sO much better after reading about this because i never knew that it happened to other people, too. *hugs* but now i know that i can just return to me - the way i like myself to be :).

Maggie said...

You're right, when I do that I get so mad at myself! I need to just accept it and move on (and then it probably wouldn't happen as often!!). I do the same thing with napping after I eat a lot of carbs too. They make me sleepy.

Gina said...

At least you over did it on healthy carbs :) No junk food! Each of your indulgences had some type of health benefit, so I consider it ok!

luckytastebuds said...

this is SUCH a great post Coco. You're TOTALLY my role model. I binge eat and feel TERRIBLE about it, but it's role models like you that show me the cycle CAN be broken. At least you got lots of fiber!! HAHHA I ate one whole box of fiber one in one sitting a while ago, and my stomach got SO HUGE because it all expanded. OMG it felt horrible. hahaha Tummy acheeee!!!

You are perfect to me!!! heheheh Ok, in a non-shady way. I'm loving the financial news in the morning. heheheh

Juliet said...

Aww. At least you got a good night's sleep. My two cents -- The craving for carbs might be your body telling you it needs some nutrient that you are not getting (given your new diet). You might want to figure out if you aren't getting enough of something in particular. I hope all is well! Sorry I've been so MIA lately. :(

caralluma fimbriata said...

I think 9 day`s are just okay for me.!!!

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